I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
