you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
