You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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