It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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