In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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