I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
