I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
