Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
