2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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