I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
so let's talk penis.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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