There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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