All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
