I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
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not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
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I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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