I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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