I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
