I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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