I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
