I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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