Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
