Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
