Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
