If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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