dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she told me i tasted like america
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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