i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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