i would punch a child for taco bell
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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