Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize