There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
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3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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