4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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