I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I wear drunk well.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
