I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
