why didn't you poke me back
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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