Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dignity is for republicans.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
