she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
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We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
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We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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