erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
