tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
