my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
