I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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