You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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