her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
