at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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