The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The air taste purple.
Randomize
