they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
