Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
