my sisters under your porch take her home
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
