That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
