Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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