If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize