Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
