all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We talked him into tasing himself.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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