I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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