all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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