I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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