Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
