whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
