ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls should come with a carfax report
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize