This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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