Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
