i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
jump out the window naked night went bad
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
